My interest in the Olympics has significantly dropped mostly because I am just ready to watch Gossip Girl and 30 Rock again, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still watching these bizarre winter sports. While there may not be as many sequins and tassels involved anymore, I have uncovered some more intriguing aspects of these winter games. Here is a list of my post-Weir Olympic interests:
1)Carrot Top: I had been so focused on all things shiny and glittery, that I failed to acknowledge another intriguing Olympian… actually I missed the boat all together on this one because I think his glory was within the first few days of the games: Shaun White (Carrot Top). When I think of snowboarding I think a) pain b)winter skater boys and c)lots of drugs. I did not know that the modern snowboarder is not even a “skater boy” but HARK! A HIPSTER! I cannot believe how tight Mr. White’s pants are! Although, his hipster abilities are questionable, since I find it doubtful that he drinks 60s of Vodka and snorts white powder. That makes him even better! He’s a hipster role model! His hipster ways say: “You can be on the fringes of society and tell the mainstream to f-off by winning a gold medal, instead of depilating Russia of its potatoes and columbia of its coca plants”.
2) Team USA: Listen you can hate me all you want for cheering USA! USA! USA! But seriously it is the best thing ever to chant, it’s so obnoxious and everyone gets really offended. I probably won’t cheer it on Sunday night because I want to live, but it’s fun! You should try it, I guarantee you’ll love it! It’s the same reason why I sometimes miss George Bush. Infinitely entertaining.
3) Curling: This sport is confusing. Maybe in four years I will understand it, but as of tonight I don’t. However, it’s pretty hilarious. I really love Team Ikea. Actually, what I really love is how incredibly sexual the game is, you have to yell such naughty things to get that rock in that button (wait are those the terms?)………….
That’s all that has piqued my interest from Vancouver lately. Tonight I was briefly amused by Stephen Harper in the curling audience, he is so socially awkward. Why can’t we have a smooth and charming leader, one that would totally flirt with the Queen of Sweden instead of bore her to death.
Yes living in a post-Johnny Weir world is not very fun.
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